Well I decided to follow my dream. On Sunday I will be trying out for a part in New Moon the second installment of the Twilight series. The first movie was a joke so I thought I might be able to spice up the second one. I will be traveling to Vancouver and auditioning. You know in 7th grade I tried out for the Jungle Book at Cheif Jo. I got the part of King Louie but quit because my friends made fun of me and I had to play basketball not be in drama. Yeah I should have copyrighted that shit because they took my life and gave it to Zac Efron in Highschool musical and made millions... So wish me luck. I could be spooning with Robert Pattinson within the week. Robert Pattinson reminds me of Harry Potter which kind of ruins him for me. I saw a pirated version of EQuiis, Harry Potter's play and was disturbed. I had a friend that warned me it was a little hard to take in. But no one in this world wants to see harry potter naked. Not one. I just kept thinking WWDD? (What would Dumbledorf do?) So yeah I will probobly be getting a SAG award within the year. It is kindness day on February 10th. I really encourage everyone to just try and do one nice thing. All of my students have their random acts planned and we are going to see if it makes any difference to anyone. A little middle school pay it forward never hurt anyone. I wrote a thank you letter to office depot last week and today I had to go in there and they fixed my computer for free. In Justin "Im overated" Timberlakes words "what goes around comes around"Sometimes I get really in to things. Like when I launched a private investigation to find JonBenet Ramsey's killer. Or when I felt like I got a pyschic vibe and knew Tupac wasn't dead. (4 albums after death? Yeah right) Recently one of my students told me when she takes her glasses off and closes one eye I look like a super model. She was sincere so I tried not to be offended but when I kept trying to teach common denominators and kept looking back at her seat and she had her glasses off and one hand covering her eye it was hard to explain common multiples when I knew she was looking at Cindy Crawford.Thumbs UpMy acting career5 dollar footlongsBailoutThumbs DownObama smokingChuck E Cheese lack of CleaninessCircuit CityI continue to have a reoccuring dream of swimming in a large vault of money like Scrroge McDuck on Duck Tales.... I don't hate it.-Sarah Davis aka the new Rick Larson reporting on the fast times in the US of A
Saturday, January 3, 2009 at 7:30pm
Sometimes I picture god much like greek methology Poisoden or Arielle's dad on the little mermaid except not a mer-man. That he has a long beard and long hair and has a huge trident. Thats how I think god looks. Most of you know that I have recently been banking all the good karma possible (adopting an africa orphan for 10.95 a month, volunteering in the river clean up, etc.) so good things would happen for me. Well this isn't workng because the more good i keep doing the more I am getting struck down. I went to the doctor yesterday because I was so sick. The reliable always wonderful Dr. Issacson told me he is 95% sure it is mono because of the swollen lympnoids throughout my body. It is kind of good it is mono and not cancer because I have some weird growths behind my ear. Back to the story at hand. I just moved in to my new place. I don't have a tv and am sicker then a dog. So I have come to my sisters for some serious television therapy and I plugged in the only thing that could cure me at this point. I believe this movie is much like an intervenious drug. Drum roll please.... The hills are alive with the sound of music... I wouldn't have been writing this right now if it weren't for that frisky nun reving me up. When she makes clothes for th children out of those hideous drapes I get goose bumps. I wish I had a gutair case on me right now so I could sing and man handle my case like she does hers. I am not cured by anymeans but thank Julie Andrews for getting me to this computer. I used to want to marry th telegram boy, the one who trotted Lesel around like a show pony in the rain while singing I am sixteen going on seventeen. I loved him. Not like my Jonathan Taylor Thomas obession but probably top 10. On a different note. A sad note. Nikki and I always take death seriously. Like when she sat un showered on her couch for 3 days and sobbed after JFK Jr. died in the plane accident. Or when we thought Sinbad die because of damn Wikipedia and the candle light ceremony we held for him. But he then never died so that is a bad example. Keiko has been dead for 4 years now. He was the orca in Free Willy. I loved that whale. Paid a pretty penny to donate to the Keiko fund and my penny helped get that whale to Norway. The day they let him go I cried like a baby. Youtube it please. Anyways he died four years ago last month. I went and saw him at the oregon aqarium before he went to Norway we had an eye contact moment. Not the weird eye contact where you look away instantly, the kind where I told him it would all be ok. Then I tracked him to see where he went after he was let go. Wow reading over this it really makes me look like a loser... New topic.Breifs:Star Jones is fugly. Nah, different one. Sean White's new game...over rated. I am getting pumped for the new X-men but am very nervous the new Footloose is not going to be nearly as good as Keven Bacon. I have started a new game spekaing of Keven Bacon. It is called the 7 degrees of Sarah Davis. I can teach anyone who wants to know how to play.Thumbs UpWendy's dollar menuApplebee's sangriasCatching up with old friends over the breakThe new BIG LOVE season startingThumbs DownMy nephew Stephen learning the dance moves in mama miaHard level on rock bandWe are in 2009. Wow I thought we would have flying cars by now. Doc and Marty McFly agreed with me. Weird.-Davis out
Friday, December 26, 2008 at 1:24am
Well I have been extremely sick. Like the kind of sick where getting out of bed doesn't even sound good and you wish your mom left those plastic mattress covers on from when you were a kid so you could just piss on your bed and she wouldn't get mad. That kind of sick. Well today I decided to emerge from my slumber and opened presents, ate some food and then was convinced by Erin to go see Marley and Me. Well let me start at the begining....I think there are three types of cries in movies. There is the first cry, which would be equvilant to first base in baseball. It is the crocodile tears. You know like the movies Rudy, Stand by Me, Turner and Hootch. You know you are sitting there watching it and as that slow clap starts to go at the end of the movie tears start rolling down your cheeks and dabbing your Notre Dame sweatshirt with tears. These tears usually stream because you can relate. I can relate because I felt like Rudy when I relaly sucked at soccer and my coach put a blind chick in the game before me... but wait that is an entirely different tale. Back to cry #1. It just makes you feel good and you don't really want to tell people you cried at that movie but you just had something in your eye. To the opposite sex this cry is cute and really shows you are in touch with your feelings. That type of thing.Cry #2 is a bit more voilent. It is when you are truely upset. You are sniffing and the water works are rolling. Your throat is burning because you are trying to hold back but then you just don't care. These movies: My Girl, The Notebook, Armageddon, Titanic. Your sitting there watching Veta touch poor Thomas Jay's bee stung body and you find yourself screaming "Where are his glasses he can't see without his glasses?!" The film is blurry and at this point you can cry openly and don't give a shit who sees. To the opposite sex this cry is understandable, it is happening to everyone.And then comes cry #3. The most rare in my life. I can only think of four times in my life this has happened during a movie. It is the cry that starts off as cry 2 but builds and all of the sudden a weird groan comes out of your throat and your face is scrunched up and you are crying so damn hard you want to get in the fetal position and let it out. The first time I experienced this was Old Yeller. I was 10 years old. I lost my cry #3 virginity that day. I was sobbing so hard at the end only my mom could console me. Never been the same since then. My heart hardened. There was a big break until Forest Gump came out and when Forest and Forest Jr. burried Jenny under that tree cry #3 crept back in to my life like a David Copperfeild trick. The only other one besides tonight was PS I love you. I don't know what it is about that movie but I convolse about a hundred times. Maybe it is a girl thing or maybe I caught it on a rough day but it was real good I didn't have my swiss army knife then because as the credits rolled I might have turned the S.A.K. on myself. Alright so back to tonight.Marley and Me. The end is inevitable. You can't watch a movie like Titanic and then be surprised it hit an ice berg. Well Marley was going to die eventually. There is no spring water you can drink to be forever young unless you are in the book Tuck Everlasting or are Madonna. I just kept thinking of my dog, Max the whole time. I won't spoil the ending but it was hard and I wish I had my mom there with me. Jennifer Aniston was stellar. The movie overall wasn't good by any means. I would personally reccomend waiting until it is on DVD. But take my advice remove all pesticides, guns, and other things that could cause harm well before you push play for that one.Thumbs Up: Sales Tomorrow, my new apt next week, nyquil cold and cough, the doctor finally getting me in tomorrowThumbs down: Trying to set me up with any guy who owns a snake or any type of spider. I hate to be judgemental but often times the guy fits that weird creep profile.Always speaking, never talking-Davis Out
Monday, December 22, 2008 at 8:14am
I have done it. Really really done it. Britney Spears is back. Everyone was real sicked out when I never gave up on her during her no shoes gas station bathroom escapades but my boo is back. AND hotter then ever. I have never missed a concert of hers and I wasn't about to miss Circus which will be the best show yet. So the choice was mine. Buy new furniture for your house or throw down 543 for front row? Needless to say I can watch TV on the floor because I am going to Brittney baby!! “There is two type of people in this world, the ones that entertain and the ones that observe… I am like a fire cracker I make em hot, I am like a ring leader I call the shots, when I put on a show I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins…”Everyone in life that knows me knows I HATE the Christmas season. I despise the angry people that think it is life and death to get that one last copy of Josh Grobin’s Noel CD. I despise the cold weather. I despise how people don’t have money to spend but buy a WII instead (alright so that last one was me). This is the season to be merry but it seems as though everyone is a bit crazy. I am buckling down for the next 5 days, youtube everyone I know, and indulging in “The Spanish Billionaire’s virgin bride” _Thanks Grandma for the book.I have watched WILLOW 4 times in 3 days. I have begun quoting Llug: Wanna breed? Madmartigan: [disguised as Hilda] Tempting... but no. Willow: I found a boat. We're all set. Madmartigan: Good. Take these two lizards out and drown them. Rool: Lizards? Who you calling lizards? Grrr! Grrr! Your mother was a lizard!Well everyone can breathe again the Mummy 5 came out. Phew. I was afraid they would end the boring same plot movies after the 4th one. I guess if SAW can do it anyone can. I continue to ask myself would the world be a better place without Paris Hilton? That is not a death threat of any sorts. I just sometimes think maybe she is a super hero of some kind that takes away IQ points of those around her. I bought some fruit striped gum last night. I won’t lie I didn’t buy it for the gum more the zebra tattoos that come on the wrapper. But let me be the first to tell you both sucked. I inked myself up before a poker game last night and it came off within seconds. And the gum has about as much flavor as seal (the guy who sang that one hit Kiss from a rose, not the artic animal). You can take that comment however you please but the truth is both Seals have no flavor. Maybe I should have seen it….Thumbs Up: BK Cheesy Tots, Michelle Obama, The entire Circus TourThumbs Down: Leaving dogs out in this frigid weather, House rerunsEveryone have a nice Christmas filled with mangers and margaritas and whiskey and wise men. -Davis out
Sunday, November 2
I have to be fast I am on Bookwalter time. I just have to get this off my chest, my full and vuloptiuos chest. I was tuning in to a nick at night marathon last night because my favorite show ROSEANNE was having a marathon and there is nothing I like more then hanging out with the Connor's. I used to want to be Darlene but then she grew up to be a lesbian so I feel weird. And then Becky left and came back. Oh and then DJ, so cute as a kid. But most of all I love John Goodman with all my heart. He takes second place in my top favorite actor list only to John Candy because I watched Uncle Buck and the Great Outdoors everyday of my life from ages 5-10. Back to Roseanne, I don't really like her but I think she might be deaf because she always talks so freakin loud and some people that have hearing problems do talk to loud. And she is crazy, like Tom Cruise calibur crazy. But I watch the show for Dan and the fact that the Davis family has a lot of similarities to the connors. Anyways I am mad I am mad because the Connor's won the lottery. What the heck? They were like every american family and then "Rosie" as Dan likes to call her won the lotto. It went down hill.... sad.To be continued....
Sunday, October 26, 2008 at 5:27pm
It has been to long but let me tell you as an adult there is always something important in life that requires your attention before writing a trib. For example, buffing my new swiss army knife. Yep I am packing heat now. If a group of Heaven's Gate followers bust in to my house lookin for kool aid I will slide my blade right open. I have owned a swiss army knife for 4 days and am not really sure how I lived the first 24 years of my life without one. I cut thread off clothing, can open wine, shank someone, it pretty much has everything except ninja stars and I prefer to have my ninja stars separate then my knife in case an assaliant disarms me of one I am not without defense...Sometimes in life things don't always go as planned but then you wake up one day and Dan Akkroyd has created his own line of vodka. Its quadruple distilled, made out of glacier water from Newfoundland Canada and is filtered with freaking Diamonds. The best part is its bottled in a glass skull. This information has been brought to my attention by my music geru friend Ken that is holding on to Dan's goods in his profile pic. Check it out. So many rights are going on in that one little bottle. First off I heard rumors (actually I made it up) that in every bottle Dan drops a little bit of blood from his own wrist which is why it is as addicting as meth. Also another right is Dan is getting an income again he has had quiet the spell since ghost busters, my girl and sadly blues brothers. He can afford to eat again. Locally people have been charging liqour store screaming "GIVE ME THE AK!" That might have just been me but everyone is someone as dear Hershal Griggs used to say. So the friut of Danny Akroyd's loins is out there with a price on it. Sometimes if you really love something set it free, if it comes back or only costs 49.99 it is yours forever.I have been watching a lot of HOUSE lately not full house although the box set with every season is out I mean HOUSE staring Hugh Laurie. I watch it and then think I am sick with the same thing the patient has. A few minutes ago I thought I was dying because me heart was exploding but I think it was just the aftermath of Dan buring my throat. Oh the word pervert has been back in full force in my life, I use it often. If you call anyone a pervert they are always offended, always taking off guard and always turn red which makes them really look like they were a pervert. Case and point... my room mate and I (another words me and my mom) were combing safeway for dinner and she said "do you want white sauce or red on the lasagna?" I screamed pervert! And everyone with in a five aisle radious wanted a look at who the pervert was. She got really embarassed called me an asshole and went to get some ocean spray cran but it was one of the greatest things I have done lately... she keeps trying to find an apartment for me...I have no idea why?Thumbs Up- Iron Man- The Seahawks winning a game- A really good job evaluationThumbs down- Warrick leaving CSI...for good- My ceiling fan maiming me in the middle of the night- Coolio's new show on E!- SAW 5... Hmmm the first 4 movies you had to saw off a body part I wonder what will happen in the 5th one?Lastly, a topic I wasnt real sure on approaching but whats the point of a trib if I am going to not speak my mind. Jesus pictures in homes.... really freak me out. I am all for loving JC. But sometimes people have pictures where Jesus is staring at you. Like the Mona Lisa the eyes follow you throughout the room. I am currently stayng at a friends and in their bathroom they have a picture of our savior. Well this morning before getting in the shower I felt a little bashful revealing my goods to the man. Keep in mind Jesus is my homeboy but I felt weird about it. I was also scorched by the water when someone flushed up stairs and oh what did I yell "JESUS" Then I felt like he was really giving me the eye when I got out. And I apoligized to him, then felt real weird I was talking to a photo. I think my uneasiness comes from Unsolved Mysteries when once I saw on their in Mexico their was a Jesus picture in a church that would cry on certain days...really freaked me out.Well another episode of HOUSE is coming on and I must gear up in case I die this episode. -Davis Out
Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 5:26pm
This weekend Magic Johnson was cornered by a member of the media saying he has faked his HIV. I watched the video on Youtube and I cried in the fetal position. Accusing a dude, and a dude like Magic of faking AIDS is like beating small little baby seals as they come from the ocean to get their first breath of the world. I am real steamed up about it. Britney Spears has done it again. Womanizer.....HOT. Yes, I am a little old for her antics but I have stayed loyal since 8th grade. She is bomb. Speaking of bomb. I have perfected the atomic bomb a new hand sign for rock paper scissors. Kyler stayed the night last night and said to me. When I have a baby when I am old if it is a girl I am ging to name it Samantha, if it is a boy I am going to name it Brandon, and if it is half boy and half girl I am going to name it Hank. I said umm your going to have a shim? (Keep in mind she is 7 years old) and she said "Sarah it could happen I have to be prepared" I said Yeah I guess. And then we didn't talk, we sat pondering in my bed until a fitfull night sleep took us both. But the reason why I feel it is Trib appropriate is I stopped at a truck stop and was stretching, and a fellow trucker came up and said "Is that yours" and point to the 16 wheeler behind me. I said "nope." and He said "Oh you look the type." I stayed looking at that truck long after the flannel wearing man pulled out. What exactly did that mean? I find myself concerned as to take it as an insult or a compliment. Finally finished Twilight.... a good book. Easy read with a little vampire, love, and violence....my cup of tea. This week in thumbs:Thumbs Up:-Seeing Kyle's parents at Isla-Pumkin lattes at The Buck (Star bucks not Travis')-Writing my second book. I am going to town on it.- Loosing 10 pounds during my stomach pump-Stephen's new mohawk (see picture)Thumbs Down:-Misty May's injury- Palin's misconduct- Me not going to Seattle for Halloween- Mahamid Ali's Time Life Classic 4 disc Life Achievements (2 payments of 29.99 not well spent)- Rappers still sagging their pants after it left the building in 1998Future Predictions: Josh Grobin might take over the world.... and a lethal weapon 5 and/or die hard 5 will be made within the year because lord knows Mel Gibson isn't getting anything since the Jew rant. And Danny Glover well that speaks for it self.Back to work tomorrow- Davis out
Thursday, July 12, 2007 at 3:34pm
Fate. All I can say is sometimes fate knocks a little rap tap tap on my door. Oh fate. It is crazy because fate is like an incident where if it was one single second off it would never happen. Well eat your heart out America…because here is the story from a lovely lady (eww I watched the true Hollywood story on the brady bunch and mrs brady used to sleep with greg brady her so called son in real life…ewwww) Anyways my story….Fate. I had to pick up a friend from the airport. I was bored and like for everything else in my life I was about an hour early. I was walking around in the airport and decided to hit the bathroom. I didn’t have to go, but some type of force grabbed me and pulled me there. That force you might be asking? That force was the one and only Thomas Wilson Brown. At this point you are going Who the heck is that. And I shall tell you it is the one and only Russ Thompson. At this point you are still asking who? Well he was my first love. Russ Thompson was the Stalanski’s neighbor in Honey I Shrunk the Kids. Now it is coming back to you. You know Russ the hot older brother neighbor. Ummm when he was lifting weights in that garage… the whole my dad doesn’t understand me thing was hot. Anyways how did I recognize Thomas since he hasn’t done anything for quite sometime. He actually was an extra on Boy meets world and Walker Texas Ranger in the late 90’s. But anyways I would recognize ol’ Thomas like another would recognize Brad Pitt. So this is how our meeting went….I see Thomas, I almost piss myself, we were walking toward each other and I truly thought it was going to be like a movie sequence and I would run in to his arms and we would make sweet love in the airport….but really he passed me and I missed out on a lifetime of love. But as fate would have it and the stalker like instincts I have I followed him to Starbucks….who knew he like Caramel Frappachinos…I will be his caramel frap….anyways I thought to myself it is now or never…GAME TIME….as he went for a straw I did too and we brushed hands….I touched Little Russ Thompson. He smiled and I blushed. Then he left. And that was it. But my friends he felt something I know he did. Fate. Alright, I know I have been babbling but the last piece of chat is a puppy was stolen from the pet store here in E-burg. No joke police are canvassing the streets with photos of this dog. Crime in Ellensburg. Who steals a dog? That is like kicking an old person. I wish the show COPS would come to Ellensburg. I would buy a ripped Miami Heat jersey, wear a bandana Tupac style and I would for sure get on camera.Alright enough is enough. Send good thoughts out for my sister Heidi who has the potential of getting a sweet ass job, which means better Christmas presents for me.Davis out
The fat lady sang...I gotta dog and a jobSunday, March 25, 2007 at 8:19pm
The rumors are true. I have been getting quiet a few inquires. I am the proud owner of Max, a dog. Yes an actual breathing canine. I love him, adopted him and paid a sweet 700 on vet bills, but my little bundle of joy is alive and kicking. I have taught him tricks and he chases his tail. Don't get me wrong I am not like an animal lover I still kick dogs when no one is looking and really am looking to purchase a el camino and become Carella Devil. Umm quick insert my mom just yelled very excited from the other room "Holy moly Sarah get out here, Hootie and the Blowfish are on Extreame Home Make Over" hmmmm, I swear Crack Rearview mirror dropped in 1992 but we will forget that for my mothers pure joy. Back to the dog. He is great. A weiner dog and pit bull mix, he has a big head and small body. He sleeps in my bed. We spoon. His skin started to peel off....who knew your not supposed to wash a dog twice a week. Anyways we are learning together. In other big news, I got a job. Not final but Ms. Davis is unofficially a first grade teacher. My mom asked when I am going to move out... try never.
